The Truth, The Whole Truth.........
Like all our predecessors before us, when you arrive at Royal Air Force Halton the last thing you think about is an Entry Stunt. In fact, I doubt whether any of us would have even heard of, let alone known about such things. Indeed for the first few months you do very little thinking, just obeying!
However once life has settled into a routine of ‘Bulling’, ‘Square Bashing’, ‘Rifle Drill’, ‘PT’, ‘Schools’ etc etc, you start to take notice of what other ‘Entries’ are doing or have done. Of course the priorities to start with are to get your own back on the Junior Entries as you were got at by the Seniors. ‘Dormitory Raids’ and ‘NAAFI Games Nights’ were something to look forward to, but they were usually spur of the moment things when the time was right.
But as time progressed there was more and more talk of an Entry Stunt which traditionally is something that Halton, the R.A.F or the World at large remembers you by. Thus a secret committee was set up, (consisting of Jim Glass [died 2007], Terry Lee and Paul Bricklebank [died 1967] (who had an old Standard 10 van) and planning commenced. What could we do? Firstly, review what others had done, paint our name on a few buildings, plant a few tulips or daffs in some lawn or border in our name, put the COs car on the roof of a barrack block, dismantle an aircraft from the airfield or workshops and put it on the square, cut our name in some hillside? Not much of a challenge really and they had all been done before (several times)! No, let’s do something that will go down in Halton folklore, lets pinch (borrow) a cannon from the Army, not just any old cannon, but one from outside of a really top Army Institution. No one can really remember who came up with the original idea, but Jim Glass seems favourite).
So, scouting parties were formed and dispatched over the period of several weeks to various Army Establishments. Aldershot, ‘Home of the British Army’ and Sandhurst (probably the No1 World Famous ‘Military Academy’ for Army Officers), became the two short listed targets. Yes they would be a bit of a challenge! So detailed plans, more visits and reccee’s were completed before the the ideal candidate was spotted, a very old Cannon, (later declared to be from the Battle of Waterloo) on the main parade square at Sandhurst right outside the CO’s Office.
Several more visits were made, some at night, some as bold as brass in broad daylight (never once were they challenged!). Detailed drawings with measurements, positions of guard houses, lights, movements etc were all noted and detailed.
Right, so now we knew what we were going to pinch (borrow), the next question was how and when. Obviously it had to be, as near to our Passing Out as possible. A weekend seemed the easiest so the Sunday the 16th of April 1967 was chosen, four days before our Passing Out.
Next question, how? Not so easy! It just so happened that Peter Musselwhite’s brother, Colin, lived just up the road at Tring and Peter casually laid out the plan and put the question to him. It turned out that Colin had a friend with a Landrover and we might be able to borrow it. Peter pointed out that if a 17 year old was seen to be driving a Landrover and trailer it might cause suspicions so Colin was duly ‘persuaded’ to drive the Landrover!
Next we had to get a trailer. We scoured several trailer hire establishments but they were either too expensive for our meagre wages or they asked awkward questions. Then someone commented that there might be a suitable one in the New Workshops so measurements were taken and yes, the Cannon would just fit on. However, the trailer was securely locked in the workshops but this minor problem was solved by another twist of fate and a completely different part of the 203rd folklore.
Here we must digress, Peter Musselwhite had a Corgi named Susie which a dear old aunt had given him for Christmas and which he brought back to camp with him. He and Susie were immediately summonsed to appear and were both marched in before Flt Sergeant Whiskey (who just happened to love dogs) who immediately referred the matter to the Entry CO (who also liked dogs). A book of Air Force law was consulted and it appeared that there was no actual reference to dogs not being allowed in barrack blocks, but if she became the entry mascot that would appear to solve any problems. So Susie became the 203rd Entry Mascot, lived in an old suitcase under Peters bed and was inspected every Saturday morning with the words “How are you today Susie?” and duly made a fuss of! (Much to the delight of the rest of the occupants of the room who were largely ignored). So, how did this fit in with the plan? Well, Peter and Susie were always to be seen around the camp going for walks so it did not seem out of place that he was taking her for a walk around the new workshops on a Sunday afternoon. Nobody saw him disappear out of sight behind some bushes at the back of the building whereupon he carefully proceeded to cut out the putty from around a windowpane, removed the pane, opened the window and he and Susie were in. Then it took just a few minutes to locate the trailer, pull it round to the main doors, unbolt the door so that they could be slid open from the outside, then make a swift exit replacing the window pane with fresh putty on the way out. To this day, nobody has worked out how we gained entry to a secure building!
So everything was set, Landrover, trailer, transport. Tony Missen had even organised a petrol fund collection to cover the fuel costs. All we had to do was get out unobserved. Rumours had been circulating for a several days that ‘the 203rd are planning something’ and you could cut the tension with a knife on that Sunday! Everybody was being scrutinised for any suspicious activity and there was a particularly nasty bit of work on duty that Sunday night in the person of a particularly obnoxious Orderly Sergeant who shall remain nameless. However, he did manage to intercept and stop one of the cars taking the troops out of camp which could have been a blessing in disguise as he thought he had foiled whatever we were up to.
Colin duly arrived at about midnight and we got into the Workshops as planned, hitched up the trailer and were on our way to Sandhurst.
From recollection, there were about six or seven of us in the landrover with Paul Bricklebank in his van with the rest of the party. I don’t recall much about the drive there, only that we drove straight in through the main gates at Sandhurst and past the guardroom. (On reflection I suppose that even had we been spotted, an olive green landrover towing an obvious Military Trailer (painted Ground Equip Blue) would not have seemed out of place. We parked the Landrover and trailer just on the edge of the parade square in the darkest spot which was about 50 yds from the cannon. The parade ground at that time consisted of tarmac covered with a light loose pea shingle which made a nice crunching noise as soon as you stepped foot on it which was a real problem. (Of course, we already knew that the Army needs to hear itself marching to be able to keep in step, whereas the RAF can do it by timing alone!) Sorry I digress! This potential problem had already been resolved in the planning by everyone wearing blankets around their shoes and strips of blankets, which were cut ready and wrapped around the wheels of the cannon to deaden the noise.
The cannon was then carefully moved to the trailer and after several precarious aborted attempts was finally secured in place and a tarpaulin thrown over and also secured in place. (It was at this point that we discovered that the wheels of the cannon were slightly overhanging the sides of the trailer on both sides!!)
An alternative rapid escape route had also been carefully planned just in case we were spotted in the act, and also to confuse the enemy!
During the planning it was discovered that there was a back entrance to Sandhurst very close to the parade square but that this was chained and padlocked. So while most of us were loading the cannon, two others went to the gate with a pair of bolt croppers, cut out the link with the padlock on and had the gate open ready. Once we were through the gate and out, the gate was relocked with a new padlock and the keys put through the letterbox of the SHQ, with a note explaining what they were for!
Then all that was left was to get the cannon back to Halton and this seemed to take forever. The landrover was only capable of about 35 mph with that load on the back but at least in the dead of night we weren’t held up by traffic. There was one moment of high drama when a police car followed us for quite a while, (it seemed for ever) then drove along side to have a better look and we all swear to this day that the two occupants shook their heads as if to say ‘we don’t want to know!’ and drove off. Apart from that we got back without incident apart from a couple of stops to re-secure the tarpaulin, which kept coming loose and exposing the cargo!
We arrived back at Halton just as it was getting light and in accordance with ‘the plan’ we stopped outside SHQ, put the cannon on the Station Commanders parking slot (Air Commodore Alan Deere), raised our entry flag and took some photos etc. In the meantime, Colin swiftly departed with the Landrover and we wheeled the trailer back to workshops and waited for the fireworks, which were not long in coming!
As I recall, we in the raiding party were ‘detained’ awaiting someone’s pleasure! However things are a bit vague as to the exact course of events that morning. I do recall that the whole entry was paraded on Henderson Square which by now had The Cannon neatly placed on the Saluting dais pointing appropriately at 1 Wing (we, of course, were 2 Wing).
The Entry C/O, trying to look furious but really looking rather smug, demanded to know which individuals were responsible for this heinous crime. No one moved. Then a further similar demand was made with descriptions of dire consequences if the perpetrators did not own up, at which point the whole entry took one pace forward! This response immediately drew a wry smile from Flt/Sgt Whiskey and Sgt’s Bernie Lawton and “Dinger” Bell, as if to say 'that’s my boys'. However the C/O seemed lost for words and stormed off! I cannot recall what took place then apart from more threats followed by some half hearted marching and drill.
At some point the Press turned up obviously sanctioned by the Station Commander (later denied) and the whole entry was photographed with their trophy with Susie standing on the barrel. The photographs and article duly appeared with a vivid description of the raid in that Fridays Aylesbury Herald. They must have sold a few hundred extra copies that week and I bet some turned up at Sandhurst and carefully placed around the corridors of Whitehall and the MOD!
The aftermath was obviously handled by Air Commodore Deere, but one can imagine the conversations between Halton and Sandhurst that morning. On one side said with glee and gross insincerity and on the other with complete outrage and humiliation! “Sorry to bother you old chap (to OC Sandhurst) but some of my lads have just turned up with a cannon, which they say they have taken from your place! Impossible? Yes I agree, but could you just look outside your window to check, (Pause) “ “Oh, You have lost one! Yes I agree. Disgraceful, outrageous. Yes, of course they will be punished. Yes, severely, of course”. No, they’re apprentices, not Special Forces. About 17 or 18 years old. Yes, I agree. Very embarrassing. No absolutely. I agree. No publicity! Well, yes of course we will return it. As soon as we can. Might not be till the end of the week though. No suitable transport. You come and fetch it? Oh! O.K. If you must.” Puts phone down. Turns to Flt/Sgt. “Make sure you double them round the parade square at least once Flight! But give them a rest halfway round!!”
Also the conversations around Whitehall and the MOD Chiefs of Staff: “Anyone seen a cannon. Sandhurst has lost one”.“Yes, I heard there’s one at Halton” smirk, chortle, chortle! Navy to Army, “Good job you weren’t up against the RAF at Waterloo, they would have pinched all your cannons while you weren’t looking!”
Yes, it must have been good for many jokes and rounds of drinks for months to come after that at the different messes around the country.
However, we had to be punished (and severely!). Honour was seen to be done when it was agreed that the whole Entry would be heavily fined for their despicable act and the fines would paid into a suitable Charity. What the Army weren’t told was that the Charity was the RAF Benevolent Fund!!
Whatever else happened, The 203rd Entry had their moment of glory and not only passed out with honour that Thursday, but also passed into the annals and folklore of RAF Halton.
At the passing out parade the Inspecting Officer made comment of his disappointment not to see ‘The Cannon’ (I suspect that Alan Deere got a bigger B*******G for letting it go back to Sandhurst so quickly!
Post script. Visitors to Sandhurst will see that shortly after the return of The Cannon, all the cannons were, and still are, securely bolted to the ground! However, I am sure, not beyond the wit of a Trenchard Brat, if the opportunity arose!
Copyright © 2012 George D Nott. All rights reserved